history.

my own parents today told me that I am more of a hippy than they ever were during the 60's.

and that I should do something to fix my "Janice Joplin" mane.

I told them I my hair is the fault of the genes they gave me.

then I looked at pictures of Joplin.
I like this one, she's younger here, and I love how she's standing, I really like her hair too.

it's just like mine, but brown.

gosh sometimes I really wish I was born in 1950, that would make me 18 in 1968, the perfect age in such a influential year.

some days I think the world got me and my mom's ages mixed up.

hmm I wonder if someday my kids will be wishing they lived in my time, you know, and saw the first black president get elected, or live through the changing of the millennium, or when mars was like super close.

I think that each generation has something that is such a great thing to live through, and even though crap stuff happened more often than not, that is the thing that people look back on and say.."wow I wish I was there"

and then the crap things too, like when I ask my parents how it was being in the air force at the end of Vietnam, and even though they never were in combat (my dad was a computer programmer, mom and office clerk) how terrible of a time that was. future generations will ask us about 9-11 and the war in Iraq, and what ever is going to happen in these next four years. and if there is another depression, then just like I asked my grandmother about how hard it was, people will ask me the same.
and this is why I love history, because its the thing that connects the generations, and even though completely different things happen to each generation, its still a cycle of good, and bad.
history repeats, and even if its not the events its everything else, it's the feelings, of wanting change or wanting stability, or anything else. just thinking about history makes me feel so much closer to everyone that has lived before me. and it makes me scared, because even if I don't do anything spectacular with my life, other people will and I will be responsible for keeping their stories going just because I was there, I witnessed what happened, and even more than that, I felt it, and I think history is nice and all but I care so much more about how people felt about the events than what actually happened. and I loath my history book because of this, because it makes it all black and white. but if no one felt strongly about anything then history wouldn't happen.

war and conflict is not all about land or power, it's about emotions. do you really think that there would be fighting in the middle east if there wasn't for conflicting feelings? no of course not, and that's why I think there is a great amount of pressure on each generation to remember what they felt about each thing, details can be forgotten, but how an event made people feel and the reactions to those feelings is the reason anything gets done, changes or stays the same.

I don't really no why I posted it, I was just going to post the Janice Joplin photo and end it there, but this rant just came out of me. I'll try to make since of it later, for now I am going to go do math homework, watch Smart People, and try to get sleep so I can feel better tomorrow.