there will be another time

I believe in selective hearing, not in the negative way of you only hear what you what to hear, but I believe that your subconscious focuses you in the direction that you need to be, and makes you hear more of what you need to.
okay well I just re-read that and it sounds a bit too Freudian for me so let my put it a different way.
have you ever learned a new vocabulary word and right after the first time you learned it you hear it all the time? I seriously doubt that this is because people are saying it more, it's just it's sorta on your mind so you pick it out in normal conversations and reading more.
does this happen to you, or is it just me?

okay well on my lovely orientation day way back in august some one talked all about participating and living life, basically he said stuff to the same effect as what Sam tells Charlie in the end of The Perks of Being a Wallflower about how he needs to do what he wants and actually live. sorry for all the references to this book but I just finished listening to the audio version of it, and I guess I really connected to it. also you should probably read it, because it's really goooodd. well okay back to the point, also a few weeks ago this motivational speaker came to our school, and his whole thing was all about how especially in high school you lose your self and become part of the crowd, he said this one thing that really struck me about how when you are in elementary school your hands were always in the air waving even when you didn't know the answer, but now you barely raise your hand above your head, and you only do when you are certain of your answer. the raw enthusiasm is gone, the will to learn and try for no other reason than yourself, and have you noticed that when your little nothing matters the labels that are put on people, rich, poor, cool, lame, none of those exist till later. my favorite picture ever is in my first grade year book, it's of two kids that I have gone to school with forever, kissing, fast-forward and now the girl's hair is purple and she is quite "indie" and the boy is playing varsity football and is I guess a "jock". I'm still pretty close with both of them and when I showed them this picture we talked about how strange it is because they haven't really talked in a few years, and probably the only thing keeping them from being best friends is their labels. I know I have stoped hanging out with people because I didn't think they were cool enough, I see them in the halls sometimes and start to wave, but then remember that I sorta ruined our friendship a few years back. I feel terrible about this.

if there is one label I want it's "girl who talks to everyone, girl that does whatever she wants, girl that is nice to everyone"
I think I'll start working towards that, because I want that to be my reputation by the time I leave the halls of high school.

okay to sum up this nice post I'll finish with what I started with selective hearing, I keep hearing the same themes over and over again in everything, "don't be afraid of living, don't let labels hold you back, get out there." I think this is because it's what I need to hear, I would probably have gained a different lesson from those books and speeches if I didn't.